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Marriage was Meant to Last

Cheated on?

Broken trust and broken dreams?

Lonely, disconnected and unhappy?

Feeling more like roommates than lovers?

Intimacy?  What's that? That left at 40!

Is he having a midlife crisis or a midlife funk?

She is not the woman I married?

Is there hope for our marriage to thrive not just survive?

Our Story

Everything looks great on the surface but what’s the truth underneath? We don’t know. The truth is no one knows. Only you know what is going on behind closed doors.


Maybe you have experienced divorce, contemplated divorce, or have a nagging fear within you that it could happen to you.


Let us start by saying we understand.  Robin and I have an eXtraOrdinary relationship today but that wasn’t always the case.  In our 34 years of marriage we have had our share of struggles that could have taken us down.  We are not unfamiliar with, addictions, infidelity, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, loneliness, feeling like roommates more than lovers.  We understand betrayal, mistrust, resentment and jealousy.  We can relate to the feelings of wanting to throw in the towel but who wants to start over.


As a pastor, I (Darrell) know what it is like to stand in the pulpit and preach on relationships and go home to a broken one.  I know what it is like to “Preach the Word” while living with the guilt of not “Living the Word.” I know what it feels like to put on the happy face and the facade and make an appearance like all is well only to cry in my own brokenness, emptiness, and despair. 


As a pastor’s wife, I (Robin) know what it’s like to sit in the congregation listening to my husband preach about relationships knowing ours is struggling. I know what it’s like to be in leadership, pretending my life is great while teaching and praying for other women. I know what it’s like to have secrets I cannot share because “I’m the pastor’s wife” and people wouldn’t understand.



THANK GOD FOR GRACE, FORGIVENESS, AND HOPE!!!  How did we make it?  Why are we not another statistic?


We took action.  INTENTIONAL ALL OUT MASSIVE ACTION!  We made a decision that DIVORCE WAS NOT AN OPTION!!!!  Today we have what we call an XtraO Marriage.  Through this journey, we have discovered some very practical steps to transforming your marriage and moving it from wherever it is today toward eXtraOrdinary.  We have also discovered that it only takes one willing partner to change the entire course and direction of the relationship.  And we would love to help you wherever you are in your relationship.  

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For your FREE

7 Steps To An eXtraOrdinary Marriage



Your Story

Wherever you are currently in your marriage we are glad you are here. Maybe you found our site in a desperate search for hope and one last effort to salvage your marriage. Maybe you are struggling & ready to throw in the towel. Or maybe you are here because you want to go from good to great! Whether you are desperate or just want more we are glad you are here and we believe that today is the start of an extraordinary journey to that XtraO marriage you have always dreamed of.  Maybe you find yourself trying to survive an affair.  We understand.  Maybe you just feel stuck in the midlife, mid-marriage muck wishing your relationship could thrive not just survive. Many marriages are simply drifting along in a status quo state with two people who have settled for just ok, even good but not great. We understand.  We've been there, done that and have the t-shirt! 

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Join us for Meant To Last

12 week coaching (couples or individual)

5 proven steps to move any marriage toward eXtraOrdinary

Online coaching from the comfort and security of your own home

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Exercises, tools and resources to implement and see immediate results




Chrissy Valdez

Life Coaching

I was referred to XtraO Coaching by a friend of mine because I was not in a very good place mentally and emotionally. Darrell & Robin helped me by really focusing on my thoughts and feelings and how my actions & results were a direct result. By utilizing their Thought Model, I was able to start recognizing the thoughts that were driving my feelings and therefore my actions. I was able to start changing the results I was having in my life and therefore have gained so much clarity and joy because I am in control of them now. I highly recommend XtraO Coaching for everyone who needs to strengthen their mental and emotional health in order to get to the next level towards becoming their best self!