• Darrell & Robin MacLearn

Be Where Your Feet Are: Strengthen Your Marriage By Being Fully Present

He walks through the door and he is home.  Or is he?  Everybody is sitting in the family room, the tv is on and you start a conversation.  He mumbles a couple of things in response to what you are saying as he continues to scroll through emails and text messages from work.  He is home but he is not present.  We have a saying in our home — “Be where your feet are.”  We don’t simply mean bring the rest of your physical body to that spot where your feet are. We mean bring your mind, focus, and attention to that spot as well.  We all can relate to our feet being in one spot and our mind being in another world.

This exercise is about intentionally being present.  It is not always easy or comfortable.  We are often in our ruts and routines and this may require you to intentionally prepare for this exercise.

Occasionally we recommend a “stretching” exercise to prepare you.  The following exercise is to practice being present.  Practice, Practice, Practice!

  • Set electronics down

  • Turn toward your spouse in the conversation

  • Intentionally engage your mind in whatever is going on

  • Repeat back what you are hearing to show you are present

  • Be actively engaged in what is happening

  • Intentionally bring your body, mind, and attention to whatever is happening

  • Watch for your partner’s response to your presence

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