• Darrell & Robin MacLearn

Listen Your Way To Better Communication and a Better Relationship

One of the most common things we hear about relational struggles and factors leading to divorce is the failure to communicate well.  Communication is key to an eXtraOrdinary relationship and communication is a learned skill.  You want a better relationship? Learn the art of communication which starts with learning the art of listening. 

Communication is about shared meaning not shared words. Shared meaning starts in the ears and the mind not the mouth. When we listen well with our ears and our mind we can ask better questions to gain understanding. Most marital conflicts arise from a lack of understanding and mismatched expectations. Learning to listen well can quickly change the course of your relationship.

Communication is about shared MEANING not shared words. Therefore listen your way to a better relationship.

Seeing how such a large portion of our life is spent listening, learning to do it well can literally transform our relationship and virtually every area of our life.


According to Brian Adams, author of Sales Cybernetics, during the average waking day, we spend most of it listening. He offers the following statistics:

  • 9% of the day is spent writing

  • 16% of the day is spent reading

  • 30% of the day is spent speaking

  • 45% of the day is spent listening


What is Listening?

John Maxwell shares a little story of a high school music appreciation class that provides a meaningful answer. The teacher of the class asked for a volunteer to explain the difference between listening and hearing. At first no one wanted to answer, but finally, a student raised his hand.



When the teacher called on him, he said, “listening is wanting to hear.”


How would you feel if your partner did the following?

  • Looked you in the eyes while you were talking to them

  • Turned away from distractions and gave you their "undivided" attention

  • Listened without interrupting

  • Focused their attention on truly understanding you

  • Connected to the reason you were sharing

  • Suspended their judgment and emotions and truly heard you prior to sharing their opinion

  • Let you know during the conversation that they understood you with affirming statements

  • Asked questions for clarity and understanding not veiled opinions

  • Listened to you with empathy and acceptance


How would you feel if your partner listened to you like this?  Would it impact your view

of your partner?

When was the last time you listened to your partner like you want to be listened to? Great Communication Starts With Great Listening


It’s Just a thought but it could change your life!


Growth begins with awareness but it is realized in action.  Begin to be aware of how you listen to your partner and take intentional action to improve your listening and watch your relationship go to another level.

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