• Darrell & Robin MacLearn

Valentine’s Day: Who’s Responsible?


It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I have a plan. How about you? I have a gift and I asked my husband if he would be my Valentine date for lunch on Friday. This isn’t really the normal way we’ve done Valentine’s Day in the past. I mean, there have been lots of times when we both give something to each other or we plan a dinner out. But this year I want to shake up the routine a little and be the one who takes initiative.



Our culture has taught us that our man should be taking care of us on Valentine’s Day. That it is HIS responsibility to make sure we know we are loved and appreciated. That he should be supplying us with chocolates, flowers, jewelry, beautiful cards, etc. Think about it.

The marketing for Valentine’s Day is largely designed for men to make sure they are taking care of their lady. Can you even think of an ad that is showing the ladies what to get for their man?!

It seems like all the pressure is on the men in our society. They are supposed to make the reservations, they are supposed to secure a babysitter, they are supposed to do all the heavy lifting so that our (the ladies) Valentine’s Day is special. I think this is wrong and I’ll tell you why.

When you are in a relationship it is about two people, equally, not one taking priority over the other. Now, when it’s my birthday, the responsibility to make me feel special does fall on my husband. But the same goes for his birthday. When December rolls around, I know that I have a responsibility to acknowledge and show appreciation to my husband and make him feel loved and cared for. But Valentine’s Day is a couple’s holiday. It’s not just for the ladies.  It is to be shared with one another. That means the responsibility for gifts and celebrations should be shared as well.

Here’s another thing. If Valentine’s Day is the only time either of you are showing love and appreciation toward one another, you have a bigger problem. Showing your partner that you love them is a daily task. This is something you should be thinking about all the time. How can I show my partner that I love them? What can I do that demonstrates appreciation and care for them? This is an opportunity to study their love language and learn to speak it fluently. If you don’t know your partner’s love language, chances are you are not communicating love to them in the best way for them to receive it. Check out this article on love languages for more details.


So LADIES, will you join me this week in stepping up your game (if you are not already thinking this way) and be proactive in planning something special for your partner? Make them feel so special that they have no doubt how much you love them. V-Day is almost here so it’s time to get crackin’!! Make this Valentine’s Day the best one yet.

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