• Darrell & Robin MacLearn

Winnie the Pooh’s Thotful Spot Can Save Your Marriage

Exercise Overview For 1 week, each day for about 10 min spend time thinking about how you think about your spouse each day.  Journal or simply write down the types of thoughts you had about your spouse.  Were your thoughts primarily positive or negative?  Were your thoughts respectful and valuing?  Was she/he even on your mind? How you think about your spouse can radically change the strength and health of your relationship.

Nutrition Just like what you put into your body matters for your physical health, the same is true in what you feed your mind. Your marriage is directly affected by your thought life.

Deeper Dive In the famous words of Winnie the Pooh, “Think, Think, Think.”  When Pooh would go to his “Thotful Spot” he would tap his head, close one eye and say, “Think, Think, Think.” More marriages could be saved today and move to XtraOrdinary if we would simply take some lessons from Winnie the Pooh.  We need to find a “Thotful Spot” and think about how we think about our spouse.  Our thought life is powerful and what we feed on directly affects the quality, health, and strength of our relationship. Our thoughts directly affect our feelings and our actions in every area of our lives. Napoleon Hill’s famous book Think and Grow Rich is an outstanding book about the impact our thoughts have on our bank accounts (but that is for a different blog).  Here we want you to think about how you think about your spouse.

Do you think about what she/he does right or wrong? Do you think about positive attributes or negative? Do you think comparative thoughts placing your spouse under someone else? Do you spend your thought time thinking about how lucky you are to be married to this person? How much time do you spend on positive marital thoughts? How much time is he/she even on your mind?

The more time you invest in negative thinking the more damage you are doing to your marriage.  It is like wanting a beach body while downing junk food all day.  What you feed your mind is as important, and maybe even more important than what you feed your body.  If you are feeding your mind “junk food” thoughts about your wife you can’t expect an XtraO marriage.  But they are just thoughts you may say.  How do you think you will feel about and act toward your wife when you arrive home if you have been thinking about how much of a nag she is during the day?  But it’s true you say, she is a nag or I wouldn’t be thinking about it. Maybe so but if you were to be honest and really take the time to think you could also probably say, “it is true she is not a nag.”  How many times did she quote-un-quote have a right to nag and not?  The truth is if we take the time to really think and think hard, we can find lots of great things about our spouse to think about.

We are here to tell you if you want an extraordinary marriage, find and think on the positive and your actions and feelings will follow.  Spend time thinking about the positives in your relationship.  Spend time thinking about the little things.  It may take some work if your current state of marriage is struggling.  In a struggling marriage, we have no problem finding the negative to think about.  And trust me we spend a lot of time ruminating on the negative and enlarging it.  However, even if it is just a couple of positive things to start with, start focusing on these.  

Where your focus goes your energy flows. “Where your focus goes your energy flows.”  ~ Tony Robbins

Think about this statement, “Where your focus goes you energy flows.”  How much positive energy are you giving to your marriage and how much negative energy?  Spend more time focusing on the positive and shifting your energy and effort to producing more positive.  I will guarantee you if you spend your time thinking about the negative you will produce more of the results you don’t want – negative. 

Think about what you think about –  (we would love to hear your thoughts)

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